Quirks in the Misty Murks Read online

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  QUIRKS IN THE MISTY MURKS

  James Livingood

  Copyright © 2019 James Livingood

  All rights reserved.

  CHAPTER ONE

  The morning used to be Jace's favorite time of day to fish. The quiet contemplation of his world view mixing with the peaceful setting of a serene lake just felt so right to him. The fog obscured most of nature but didn't hide the sound of a deer slowly passing on the other side of the lake. He could tell by the rough shape of the outline. Perhaps that's what made it so confusing when the deer stood up on two legs and started walking. Jace watched as the deer slowly hobbled from one leg to the next.

  Jace thought about shouting out; after all, it must be a human if it were standing on two legs. The only thing that stopped him was the horns sticking out of the top of the head. Jace decided to move closer to the other side of the lake, trying to get a better view. He wasn't exactly sure what he saw through the fog, but it looked like a deer slowly learning to walk on two legs.

  Jace set down his fishing pole and began walking to the other side of the lake. After he got through a few rough patches of shrubs, he was worried that he lost the weird shape. A few more turns, and he was surprised again. He had expected a clearing after this twist, but instead, he only saw forest up ahead. He looked in all directions to try and get his bearings.

  After several turns, he discovered to his delight that he was closer to the mystery shape. It looked much more substantial on this side of the lake. He still couldn't make it out, but it was trying to walk on two legs. He snapped a twig and froze, waiting to see if the shape noticed him. He didn't see any recognition that he had been discovered, so he continued to creep forward.

  Was it just the lake’s reflection, or was this thing growing? A moment ago he could have sworn it was about half the size of the trees nearby. Now it almost reached the top of the trees. Jace estimated that the trees must have been 50’ high or higher. The trees towards the other side of the lake, the one the creature appeared to be going towards, looked to be about 100’ high. Still, the creature appeared to be growing towards that height with each awkward step.

  When it reached the edge of the larger trees, it stopped. Jace stopped pursuing it as well. He wanted to see through the fog and try to figure out precisely what he was looking at. Was this a giraffe in the middle of a forest? That was a ludicrous thought, but the shape was very tall. It paused and let out a small bleating sound, like a sheep.

  Jace scratched his head in complete confusion. He didn't know what this thing could be. The animal bleated again, but this time it was much louder. The first time it had let out noise had been a whisper. This second time the sound had come out like a yell. Jace began to wonder if he should stop what he was doing and lay low. Perhaps this was some kind of man-killing creature, like a giant bear? Jace then wondered what kind of bear bleats like a sheep. He had to figure this out, whatever the cost.

  He continued to creep forward, shifting his head side to side, trying to understand the thing. Every time its outline fell against the fog, it just didn't make sense. Jace wondered if it was an average size thing and that the light was messing something up. Perhaps an extra long shadow in the morning sun? That would explain how it was able to grow so much.

  One of the hooves that had been near the creature's side turned into worms in the fog. Jace stared harder, trying to figure out what happened. Did it step in something? Jace then realized that they weren't worms, but were instead fingers of some sort. Again, he wondered if it were human or something else.

  The creature let out another bellow, this one as loud as a jet airplane. Jace covered his ears out of instinct. His body knew that this loud noise could damage his hearing. He wasn’t sure what this mystery was trying to reveal, but he didn’t want to lose his hearing over it.

  The sunshine started to burn off the fog, and Jace could see the top of the tallest trees. The creature certainly did have horns like a deer. Jace crept to the side, and more of the horns began to be exposed.

  A breeze started blowing, and the creature continued deeper into the vast woods. Jace had a fear that if he didn't speed up his feet that the animal would disappear into the woods. He began to move his feet quicker in the hopes of seeing precisely what this being was.

  Another thought hit him, and he did his best to ignore it; what if this creature would attack him when he was seen? Was Jace heading to being mauled by a mysterious bear or something even crueler? He buried those flight instincts down and had his curiosity flaring as passionately as possible.

  The fog cleared and Jace saw the creature for what it was: A giant two-legged deer with hands, standing on two legs, and had a jean jacket on. The last part was so shocking that he stood in place, wondering what drugs of hallucination he must be having. The creature continued to move forward, pushing the tops of the trees out of the way.

  Then it disappeared before Jace’s eyes. One moment it was there, the next it was gone. Jace chased after where the creature had been, trying to figure out where the tracks led. He saw the tracks clearly and ran after them. He couldn’t quite figure out where such a giant beast had disappeared. He scratched his chin, trying to decipher the mystery.

  "Catch any fish today?" a voice said behind him. Jace stopped and looked around. He didn't see anyone. Then his peripheral vision picked up some movement near his shoulder. He looked toward his shoulder and saw a small flying lizard there, sitting on his shoulder, puffing a pipe. It smiled at him and gestured with its pipe towards the lake. Jace stared at the thing and began running deeper into the woods. He didn't know why he was having such bad hallucinations, but he hoped that he could wait them out somewhere in the woods. If he went home now, it could cause all sorts of social problems. If he freaked out, and the cops were called, he could even end up in jail. It was best to wait this out in the darker parts of the woods.

  Jace continued to run, deeper and deeper into the woods. He then realized that if it was just his mind, he could will away whatever popped up. However, he was now quite lost and needed to get back to civilization. He continued forward down a promising path and was rewarded by seeing buildings off in the distance. His happiness faded when he saw a pair of antlers bobbing up and down near the top of the buildings.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Jace wondered if the giant creature was terrorizing the town. Would this be like Godzilla destroying all the buildings? Would there be people he would need to help? The morning was starting to fade into the afternoon. As evidence of that, the fog around the town began to burn away in the sunlight. Jace went towards the town, looking to see if anyone needed help.

  The town didn't look busy from what he could see. A few animals seemed to be running free, but that could be because their cages were left open. Jace continued to watch the antlers bob up and down until they faded into the town a little further.

  The fog had indeed disappeared, and he could now see these animals clearly. He stopped in his tracks and gapped with an open mouth. All of these animals were acting human. They had clothes on, and many were on two feet instead of four.

  A goat was buying fruit from a vendor and putting it in their basket. A bear was trying to bargain for a rocking chair. A wolf was telling a joke to a small crowd outside a store. A cobra was coiled up next to a cardboard sign, which had writing about ‘hard times and anything helps�
��. Those were the more natural creatures for Jace to understand.

  Intermixed with the ordinary creatures you could see on a daily basis were the mythological creatures of legends. A dragon with a robe on flung two coins into the cobra’s coffers. A minotaur pushed a lamb on a swing set at a nearby playground. A pink slime was in the crowd, laughing at the joke the wolf was telling; or at least bubbling at the joke.

  Jace took a step back, not wanting to step into this hallucination. He just knew it had to be a trick of his mind, as he couldn't understand how a place like this would have never been discovered. Inevitably, someone would have stumbled upon this place and reported it.

  A human with a straw hat came up to Jace and took him by the arm. Jace was so fascinated by the animals and creatures that he didn't even ask the man's name. The man led him down a few streets, where they both went inside a church. Jace wondered if this man was as scared and confused as he was. It turned out that the man wasn't that afraid, and that he had other plans for Jace.

  “This your first time here, mammal man?” the guy in the straw hat asked.

  Jace took a better look at him. He wasn't scary, but neither was he cuddly. The man wore a black robe, and his straw hat was frizzled at the ends. Jace wondered if that was from constant use.

  Jace nodded and replied, "Who are you, and what is this place? How come I haven't heard about this town before?"

  The man’s robe shifted, and a hand came out. The two shook, and the man said, "My name is Council Francis. I help run this church." He pointed around the building and moved his eyes to match.

  “As far as the town goes,” Francis continued, “the bigger question is how you got here. Everyone I know has a pass to move between the areas. You must have found an unsecure route, which is concerning.”

  Francis put his hands in his black robes and moved his hands in a pocket. The then pulled out a coin with a square hole in the middle. "The passes only come from the ferryman in the River Styx. He collects the coins from the dead, then uses them to alter between what could have been and what is."

  “Are you saying I am dead?” Jace asked.

  “Do you feel dead?” Francis asked, a slight smile crossing his mouth.

  "No, I don't. I feel like I normally do." Jace replied.

  Francis nodded his head and said. “I will have to be the one to train you for a bit, so you don’t end up being wiped off a giant’s shoe or being conned out of everything you own by a wizard.”

  “A wizard? Like Merlin, with the beard?” Jace asked, his hands making a gesture as if he were combing a giant beard.

  “No, not him. A different wizard looking to trade,” Francis made air quotes with his fingers, “ ‘innovations’ for investments.”

  “How is that a con?” Francis asked, scratching the side of his head.

  "Most the time, the wizards are just fueling it with their powers, which disappear after a day or two. That gives them long enough to make some money and run. The whole bunch of them should be eaten by birds if you ask me." Francis said, a scowl crossing his face.

  “Do the birds walk up right here and wear clothing?” Jace asked.

  “That’s absurd. Of course they do.” Francis said, waving his hands.

  “How do I know you are not one of these wizards?” Jace asked, scratching his head.

  “Am I lying to you right now?” Francis asked.

  Jace wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Who would admit they were lying if they were trying to convince you how honest they are?

  “Maybe?” Jace hedged his bet with the response.

  "True, true. Okay, we need to get going soon, or the priest of this church is going to wonder what we are doing here." Francis asked.

  “I thought you were the priest!” Jace said, pointing at Francis’s robes.

  “No, I said I help run this church. In the sense that I donate money here on occasion. Listen, we need to get going or else…”

  A loud booming voice came from the other end of the church, “Whose there? Is there someone who wishes to repent their wicked ways?”

  Francis didn't waste time waiting for Jace. He bolted from the church at maximum speed. Jace wondered if he should stay or go when he saw the shape of antlers in an upcoming shadow. Apparently, he had found the giant deer he was pursuing. It turned out to be the priest of a local church.

  The voice bellowed in an angry tone, “If you are trespassers in my church, you’re going to see how wicked I can be!”

  That was all the encouragement that Jace needed to leave. He didn't want to see what this massive deer creature would do. It would be best to find a place to hide and then wander back in the woods. He wanted to not only get out of this building but out of this town entirely.

  They both disappeared around the corner, out of breath. They hid in an alley behind a crate that smelled horrible.

  Francis clapped Jace on the back. "You see, already I show my worth! I got you out of that sticky situation post-haste!"

  Jace lifted a foot and heard the ‘schluck’ sound of his shoes stepping in something gross and sticky. He looked at Francis, “So… I need a pass.”

  "Why? Did you burp?" Francis asked, "You have a funny way of saying ‘excuse me'. I can tell you're not from here."

  “No,” Jace looked at him with cold lowered eyes, “You said I need a pass to move between the lands? So I assume I’ll need one to get back to my home?”

  “Oh. You must have stumbled in from an unsecured border. That means you need to find a passport quickly. Well then,” Francis fished into his straw hat, “take mine.” He handed over a piece of paper but held on as Jace tried to grasp it away.

  “One major piece of advice” Francis said, looking into Jace’s eyes, “Disguises are common place here. If you don’t have a disguise, then you will stand out!” Francis let go of the piece of paper and then left out of the alley.

  Francis strolled with confidence and waved at a small mouse man who walked nearby. The mouse man looked like the Monopoly man and a giant mouse merged, a suit and tie adorning the tiny figure. The rich mouse tipped his top hat to Francis and hurried on his way. Francis walked the other way briskly and began to fade into the crowd.

  Jace looked down at the piece of paper he had been given. He began to read the paper; “2x Sticks of Butter, 6x Eggs, 3x Cups of Sugar, 2x Cups of Holy Water from Church…” Jace crumpled the paper. He was not only frustrated that this wasn’t a pass to get home, but he now didn’t know if such a thing even existed. The only human he had met appeared to be a trickster, and he didn’t know if he could trust the word of a trickster. Jace put the crumpled paper in his pocket. He then left the alley and looked to figure out a way to get home.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Jace sat there, thinking about what to do next. He needed to find a way to get back home, but he didn't believe that Francis had been telling the truth. What he did remember is the way Francis acted with that fancy mouse in a suit. He decided that humans may not be scarce, and perhaps his best bet was to approach some creatures to see if they could help them out.

  He hesitantly went out of the alley, ready to bolt at the first shocked gasp. Nothing happened, and the creatures parted around him. Jace heard snippets of conversations, and they all appeared to be in regular English.

  One animal vendor was selling rugs to other creatures. Jace decided to talk to the busy rhino looking creature that had three horns, all in a row. The horns were at the top of the creatures head, not the nose, and had small bells hanging from them. As the creature talked and exaggerated with his hooves, the bells rang and tinkled a little. Jace walked up to the beast, ready to ask several questions.

  “I don't have any for you,” the animal said to him and then started talking with another customer. The two of them went over to a rug and started talking about patterns.

  Jace scratched his head and wondered if the creature didn't have any rugs for him. That was fine, as Jace didn't need a new rug, he needed to find his home.

/>   “Excuse me,” Jace said, trying to get in-between the two of them. The other creature customer huffed out at the interruption. That creature was an antelope in a smock, with ribbons curled up its horn.

  “What is it?” the rhino with bells said, trying to contain frustration over being interrupted.

  "I am looking for a way back to my home, and I don't know how that's done," Jace said.

  The antelope with ribbons huffed out again and threw its hooves up into the air in frustration. The store owner saw this and realized that the situation needed to be fixed quickly if he was going to get a sale.

  “If you don't know the way, how am I going to be able to help? Listen, I am with an incredibly important customer having an articulated and thoughtful discussion on pattern selection. I don't get to have these detailed of conversations often, so please, go to another establishment.” the rhino stretched his hoove toward the door in a gesture for Jace to leave.